Caring for a loved one is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles a person can take on. For me, caring for my brother and mother shaped so much of who I am today. Their passing last year marked the end of that chapter, and I found myself navigating life without the familiar responsibilities that once filled my days. It’s a strange feeling – a mix of loss, reflection, and rediscovery.
It is true that no two carers’ journeys are the same. But the effects that caring for a loved one can have on you are very real. It wasn’t until I first listened to Tune In To Care – Season 2 that I felt truly acknowledged – that I wasn’t alone in my caring journey. Hearing stories from other carers reminded me that others feel the same way.
As a carer to a chronically ill and elderly mother, a chronically ill partner for a year, and occasionally to my brother who had mental health issues, I can completely sympathise with the feeling of burnout. I think all carers could agree that it takes hold of you and never lets go. Season 2, Episode 2 (Caring for ageing family members) really struck a chord when Liz said, “You’ll get very, very overwhelmed physically, mentally, you’ll feel like you cannot function [anymore]. And it’s, it’s very difficult.”

There were many times when I thought my role as a carer had ended for the day, but something else would crop up. I’d need to pick up medication from the pharmacy for my partner or I’d get a call in the middle of the night that my brother was either in the Emergency Department or not doing well, and he had caused significant damage to his home during a delusional episode. This was all while juggling full-time work. Thankfully, when COVID lockdowns made working from home more common, it really helped me juggle my caring roles.

Joanna and her mother – 15 years ago
I resonated deeply with Kim in the same episode when she spoke about feeling stuck and isolated. I had resigned my life to being a carer because it was my responsibility to support my mum, who eventually went into aged care, as well as my then partner and brother. While friends went out for dinner or had get-togethers, I was stuck in the moment of trying to meet my loved ones’ needs.
Liz’s experience with sending her mother into care also mirrored my own. She said it was “the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do.” My mum entered aged care during strict COVID lockdowns when we weren’t allowed to visit or see how she was doing. Even after she was placed in care, my caring role didn’t end. My dad and I continued supporting her as only we truly understood her needs.
Liz talked about losing sight of who she really is. I think all carers can identify with this. She said:
“You totally get lost within yourself and you become last, and your health suffers, and your mental health suffers.”
There comes a time during your caring journey when you lose that person you were before you became a carer. Kim’s and Liz’s lives took a turn for the better once they joined Wellways Carer Gateway. Kim spoke about how her friendships grew through support groups, and how even something as simple as getting a dog, Missy Moo, became a source of joy. Liz, who has been a carer since childhood, found the support from Wellways Carer Gateway life-changing, helping her rediscover herself and set boundaries.
Hearing their stories helped me reflect on my own journey. Even though I no longer have the traditional title of ‘carer,’ the essence of that role – love, patience, and compassion – remains. Tune In To Care has been an eye-opening experience, showing me that the emotions I felt during my caring roles were normal and shared by many others. It also helped me realise that I was, in fact, a carer. Before listening, I thought I was simply being a partner, daughter, and sister supporting my loved ones.
As Liz pointed out, the grief of losing those you care for is profound, but so is the loss of the caring role itself. It leaves a hole, as being a carer often becomes a large part of your identity. I’m still learning how to navigate life without those I cared for, but I know that if I ever step into the caring role again, I’ll have the support of Wellways Carer Gateway.
Just as Kim and Liz found strength in meeting other carers, I’ve found inspiration and comfort in hearing their stories. It’s validating and reminds me that even in the toughest times, there are others who understand. And that, in itself, is a source of strength.

Carer Gateway
Carer Gateway is an Australian Government initiative connecting carers with access to free services and supports. Wellways Australia delivers these services throughout Queensland and the New South Wales regions of South West Sydney and Nepean Blue Mountains.